Saturday, September 25, 2010
In a Perfect World...
'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.
Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.'
*NOTE FROM GINGER: This list would have most certainly included Israel, as they have been our allies for years. Our intrusion into their political issues with the Palestinians has truly demonstrated favoritism and delivered a very negative message to a nation we should be supporting.
'The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. Then, every year thereafter, the money will go into OUR social security system so it won't go broke in twenty years.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.'
NOTE from Ginger: I would like to ask Angelina Jolie why she choose to visit Pakistan after their flooding, yet totally ignored her own countryman in Tennessee when Nashville and other cities were devastated? Don't we have children in our own country who needs homes? And people who need a leg up? Charity begins at home...or so I've always heard.
'Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China.'
NOTE from Ginger: Doesn't China own most our foreseeable future? And possibly a huge chunk of the US if we don't make good on our payments?
'I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought : You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America .. Thank you and good night.'
Final NOTE from Ginger: In a perfect world, we might have a president who thinks like this. Unfortunately, as I've said before, party lines continue to divide what could be a great country. The day of needing Dem versus Rep has ended and we need to vote the PERSON not the PARTY. As long as we have to choose a side, we'll never be able to come together as "one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."